Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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