worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
