apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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