nut hugger
well you can't waste a boner
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my poor anus
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
