This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
