On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i would one night stand the shit outta him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
