i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize