they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
