I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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