how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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