We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
