No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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