i permit you to call me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
babies were throwing up all over the place
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
