she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
