You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
