Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
