I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what is it with giant penises always finding me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
