If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
