The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
handjob tips. give me some.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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