you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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