pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We need to get me chipped asap
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
