I wanna passion pit in your ass
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
