Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize