i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
