Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
