I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
