This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
