evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
