I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
