Betty ford says i'm here all night
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
high people should be assigned attendants
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I didn't notice because vodka
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
