hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
