What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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