saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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