I think I just saw someone hide a body.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
