Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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