I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
the gays at disneyland are vicious
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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