you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
