thus making me awesome and them whores
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
