she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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