i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
