I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
