so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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