wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
