just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
