I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
