Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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