ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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