Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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