Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
