Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
