Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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