I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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