Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
