I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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