so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just google imaged poop.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize