are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
