the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize