I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
