I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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