The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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