Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
